I’ve always been socially awkward. As a small, young human, I was shy. Everyone seemed so eager to inform me of this as though I didn’t know. As though their highlighting the fact would somehow stop me from being me. We are who we are. I don’t believe in change; not really. We can pretend; we can find ways to cope, but deep down, in our cells, we are what we are.
I don’t like crowds much. Not in a panic-attack, anxious way. I feel for people like that; it must be awful. Thankfully, mine is far less worrisome. It’s more of a dislike than anything else. I don’t see the appeal. I generally don’t like all the noise and bustle and awkwardness. Who do you talk to? How do you talk to them? Why would they even want to talk to you? They’ve got their own shit going on.